The Unauthorized Biography

Ben Folds Five The Unauthorized Biography Lyrics
1.Narcolepsy

I should warn you
I go to sleep
I know you don't
Know what I mean
Yet
I get upset or happy
I go to sleep

Nothing hurts when
I go to sleep
But I'm not tired
I'm not tired

I know it seems that I don't care
But something in me does I swear
I don't remember all last year
I left you awake to cry the tears

While I was dreaming in the streams
Flowing between the shores
Of joy and sadness
I'm drowning
Save me
Wake me up

I should warn you
I go to sleep
You won't know when I go to sleep
Beause I'm not tired
I'm not tired
I Just sleep


2.Don't Change Your Plans

Sometimes I get the feeling
That I won't be on this planet
For very long
I really like it here
I'm quite attached to it
I hope I'm wrong

All I really wanna say
Is you're the reason I wanna stay
I loved you before I met you
And I met you just in time
'Cause there was nothing left

I sat here on my suitcase
In our empty new apartment
Until the sun went down
Then I walked back down the stairs
With all my bags and drove away
You must be freaking out

All I know is I've gotta be
Where my heart says I oughta be
It often makes no sense In fact,
I never understand these things I feel

Don't change your plans for me
I won't move to LA
The leaves are falling back east
That's where I'm gonna stay

You have made me smile again
In fact, I might be sore from it
It's been a while
I know we've been together many times before
I'll see you on the other side

Don't change your plans for me
I won't move to LA
The leaves are falling back east
That's where I'm going to stay

All I really wanna say
Is you're the reason I wanna stay
But destiny is calling and won't hold
And when my time is up I'm outta here

All I know is I gotta be
Where my heart says I oughta be
It often makes no sense, in fact
I never understand these things,
I feel

I love you, good bye
I love you, good bye...


3.Mess

There was a time that I had nothing to explain
Oh, this mess I had made
But then things got complicated
My innocence has all but faded
Oh, this mess I have made

And I don't believe in God
So I can't be saved
All alone as I've learned to be
In this mess I have made

All the untested virtue
The things I said I'd never do
Least of all to you

I know he's kind and true
I know that he is good to you
He'll never care for you more than I do

But I don't believe in love
And I can't be changed
All alone as I've learned to be
In this mess
I have made the same mistakes
Over and over again

There are rooms in this house that I don't Open any more
Dusty books of pictures on the floor

That she will never see
She'll never see that part of me
I want to be for her
What I could never be for you

But I don't believe in God
So I can't be saved
All alone as I've learned to be
In this mess I have made


4.Magic

From the back of your big brown eyes
I knew you'd be gone as soon as you could
And I hoped you would
We could see that you weren't yourself
And the lines on your face did tell
It's just as well
You'd never be yourself again

Saw you last night
Dance by the light of the moon
Stars in your eyes
Free from the life that you knew

You're the magic that holds the sky up from the ground
You're the breath the blows these cool winds 'round
Trading places with an angel now

Saw you last night
Dance by the light of the moon
Stars in your eyes
Free from the life that you knew
Saw you last night
Stars in your eyes
Smiled in my room


5.Hospital Song

Lying awake in my hospital room
Silas Creek Parkway is my only view
And the doctor just came by and told me the news
I need a second opinion
I don't believe that it's true


6.Army

Well I thought about the army
Dad said, Son you're fucking high
And I thought, yeah there's a first for everything
So I took my old man's advice
Three sad semesters
It was only 15 grand spent in bed
I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead

Grew a moustache and a mullet
Got a job at Chick-fil-a
Citing artistic differences
The band broke up in May
And in June reformed without me
And they'd got a different name
I nuked another grandma's apple pie
And hung my head in shame

Been thinking a lot today
Been thinking a lot today

Oh, I think I'll write a screenplay
Oh, I think I'll take it to LA
Oh, I think I'll get it done yesterday

In this time of introspection
On the eve of my election
I say to my reflection
God please spare me more rejection
'Cause my peers they criticize me
And my ex-wives all despise me
Try to put it all behind me
But my redneck past is nipping at my heels

I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I thought about the army...


7.Your Redneck Past

Choose from any number of magazines
Who do you want to be?
Billy Idol or Kool Moe Dee?

If you're afraid they might discover
Your redneck past
There are a hundred ways to cover your redneck past
They'll never send you home

Roots!
The funny limbs that grow underground
That keep you from falling down
Don't you think that you'll need them now?

Just find a place where no one knows of
Your redneck past
Yeah, you can easily dispose of your redneck past
You'll show them all back home

Dol? Je suis American
Please cook my steak again
Je suis American
Dol? Je ne parle pas Franis

Laws vary from state to state
Getcha some books on tape
Learn about holes in space

If you're afraid they might discover
Your redneck past
There are a hundred ways to cover your redneck past
It's good to be back home


8.Your Most Valuable Possesson

6:49am, Friday, November 20th

'Good morning, Mr. Ben. It's about 6:30,
Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
Just laying here in the bed, half awake,
half asleep, thinking about you.
I was, uh, wondering if you were looking
after your most valuable possession--your mind.
I was thinking about John Glenn, his space journey and all.
They said that when you're in space you lose muscle mass...
and the body mass...and I wondered if there was any...end to it.
Or whether if you didn't exercise in space,
how long it would be for you were just...a head,
or a mind, and have no body or arms--
you would have them but you couldn't
use them. I was wondering if, uh,
if your body mass would drop to a certain level,
and then it would stop right there and
keep whatever you needed to use your mind,
because it would still be working. 30 seconds remaining...
anyway, I was just pondering that.
What do you think about that? I hope
everything is going all right,
I'm going to wake up here in a little while--
I forget what I was thinking about.'


9.Regrets

I thought about sitting on the floor in second grade
I couldn't keep the pace
I thought I was the only one moving in slow motion
While the other kids knew something I did not
But if I acted like a clown
I thought it would get me through, it did
But that don't work no more
You're not a kid no more
I thought I'd do some travelling
Never did

Regrets, regrets

I thought about the hours wasted
Watching TV, drinking beer
I thought about the things I thought about
Until immobilized with fear
And all the great ideas I had
And how we just made fun
Of those who had the guts to try and fail
And then I ended up in jail

Regrets, regrets

... but just for a day
Seems the police had made a computer mistake
Said there must be thousands like me with the
Same name
Anyway, I thought about the things I settled for
Or never tried
I never visited my grandma even once
When she was sick before she died
So I don't blame you if you never come to see me
Here again

Regrets, regrets


10.Jane

Jane be Jane
You're better that way
Not when your trying
Imitating something you think you saw

Jane be Jane
And if sometimes that might
Drive them away
Let them stay there
You don't need them anyway

You're worried there might not be
Anything at all inside
That you're worried
Should tell you that's not right
Don't try to see yourself
The way that others do
It's no use

You're worried there might not be
Anything at all inside
But that you're worried
Should tell you that's not right
You've had it harder than anyone could know
So hard to let it go

But its your life
You can decorate it
As you like
Beneath the pain and armour
In your eyes the truth still shines

Jane be Jane
Jane be Jane


11.Lullabye

Goodnight, goodnight sweet baby
The world has more for you
Than it seems
Goodnight, goodnight
Let the moonlight take the lid off your dreams

We took a small flight
In the middle of the night
From one tiny place to another
And my parents they remained
At the shack with Lorraine
And my aunt and my Grandpa and brother
We walked past the tarmac
And boarded the craft
The rain had me chilled to the bones
Just the three of us took flight that night
Uncle Richard, me and James Earl Jones

And the pilot he gave me a blanket
And the tall dark man sang to me in deep
Rich tones...

Goodnight, goodnight sweet baby
The world has more for you
Than it seems
Goodnight, goodnight
Let the moonlight take the lid off your dreams